Sometimes life feels like a to do list.

Spring lists and summer lists.

Workout routines, study schedules, diary entries, and calendars.

Ticking off each item systematically on the list and judging my daily success by the number of lines across the page.

Until.

Until I feel overcrowded.

Until marking off lines, meeting deadlines, and following new regimes stop fulfilling me.

When I remember that it’s empty.

All of it.

The morning devotionals, workouts, diets and schedules. The assignments and the projects. The cleaning and the cooking. The planning and the prepping. The prayer and the worship. The work and the play.

What’s the point if I regard each moment simply as another hour that I’ve successfully got through?

I find myself caught in a cycle of trying to measure my success at life by how well and consistently I perform.

Good things.

Like how time efficient, patient, gracious, loving, diligent, selfless, and forgiving I was that day.

But when evening comes, and I haven’t been all I expected of myself: when there’s entries that haven’t been crossed off on the list, when I wasn’t as kind or as patient as I could have been, or when I wasn’t as productive with an hour as I probably should have been, I find it hard to remember that my worth isn’t measured by my performance.

That God’s love for me doesn’t grow because He’s impressed with how well I did or diminish when I’m less than I should or could have been.

That actually. Maybe I’ve fallen back into striving and doing things in my own strength.

I never try to. I never aim for independence from my Lover or knowingly tell Him that I’m okay on my own.

But it seems that I wind up there, nevertheless.

When worship feels like a performance and prayer feels like I’m exchanging information at a business meeting, I’ve got to go back.

Right back.

First love back.

I’m so thankful for how gently God leads. How lovingly He shepherds.

I know it must be painful for Him to be treated like an entry on a to do list. To have the one who has His gaze rush through conversation with Him and try to get on to the next thing.

I’m learning.

Learning that it’s okay.

All of it.

What I do.

What I don’t do.

Heaven won’t remember my to do lists. Eternity is an eternal state of present-ness. When we’ll have finally learned that we’re adored exactly where we are, that we could never move His love for us, and that we’re free to simply be.

That being is enough.

It’s enough just to be loved
I don’t have to earn Your heart
Just be held, just be myself
I can rest in who You are ’cause
You’re not looking for perfection, and I
Already have Your affection and
It’s enough just to be loved
Just to be loved by You

To be Loved- Lydia Laird

Note for loved ones: I’m aware that this post might feel negative and give the impression that I’m consistently overwhelmed and stressed. I’m not. I’m loving life. I just find myself in these moments sometimes, and I know that I’m not alone in needing to be regularly reminded to stop, breathe, and be. God is so kind. I love that He lets us see our weaknesses, even often. Because it’s there that the call to abide gets louder.

Over the past 6 months, Jesus has been teaching me about love. He’s been teaching me that He wants my wholehearted affection. He’s been showing me that no love I could ever know will ever come close to His love for me: that He loves me deeper and wider and more fully than I could ever taste or imagine. And He’s teaching me that heartache is good soil for knowing His love.

I keep being reminded that we only get this life to struggle. To experience pain. To learn forgiveness. The next life will be endless days of ceaseless praise that are founded on what Jesus did in this life. That He came, and suffered, and died and did it all for the sake of love. That we get to share both in His sufferings in this life and in His joys in the next is a truth so wonderful that if we fully understood it we’d embrace each day with praise and thanksgiving. I’m learning that it’s IN the pain that we see His love. We begin to understand what He did for us, and we catch a glimpse of how deeply He must really love us to have done it.

I’m learning to be undone by what He has done for me. By how much He loves me. And I’m learning that He did it all because He wants me.

He keeps showing me that He wants me affection and attention. He keeps beckoning me to spend time in His presence and to pour out my love for Him.

That’s what I’ve been learning: to pour out my love for Him in new and precious ways, to let Him have my heart more than any other, and to let His love be the only thing that I live for.

He is. He is why I breathe.

So, one of the new ways I’m learning to give Him my love and affection is through poetry. I used to write poems as a child, but then stopped in favour of writing songs or letters. I’m now doing all three.

Jesus consistently reminds me that the things He shows me and does in me are supposed to be shared. So, this is that. Me sharing my love for Jesus and His for me with whoever reads this in the belief that, through it, He’ll overwhelm you with His love also and show you that He’s working every part of your story for your good and His glory as you love Him.

His love is better and stronger than you know.

Take Hold of Your Love

I'll curl myself up in Your chest
I'll feel the kindness of Your heartbeat
I'll believe that You know what's best
And I'll let You have my love


I'll come to You and learn to rest
I'll learn that You've never known defeat
I'll lay my head against Your breast
And I'll take hold of Your love

Sweet, Sweet love

Let this my greatest desire be
 To be wholly pure and pleasing to Thee
  Pride, vanity, selfishness: rid me of these
And be the only One I strive to please

Let me give You all my affection
All of my hope and all my devotion 
Let me seek only that which is from above
And for You be consumed in sweet, sweet love.

My Hope.

When they said it was lost.
And I said it was good.
It was You.
It was always You.

When I lost my way.
And You brought me back.
It was You.
It was always You.

When they say all hope is gone.
And I say this story's undone.
It's You.
It's always been You.

My reason for hoping
My strength and my song
It's You.
Its always been You.

Psalm 121:2 Hebrews 12:2 Romans 5:3 Revelations 5:8 Psalm 126:5 John 3:16 Philippians 1:5

We’ve lived in our current house for 3 years now, and, over those 3 years, our boiler has consistently needed repairs. We have intermittently gone with no heating or hot water (a trivial inconvenience in reality) and have had to find creative ways of staying warm.

Every time our boiler broke down again, we’d pray that the boiler engineer would quickly be able to find the issue and repair it. However, this year I started praying that the boiler would just break down properly so that it couldn’t be fixed, and we’d need it to be replaced.

In the beginning of autumn this year, our boiler broke down. I remember being really thankful that it happened just before the cold season so that it could be fixed ready for when we really needed it. And it was. For about a month, it worked great. Praise God, we were warm. But then it broke down again, and, as literally all the parts have been repeatedly repaired or replaced, the decision was made that it’s time for it to go. Praise God!

.

Anyway, in view of all this, I was thanking God tonight during our prayer meeting that our boiler is finally ‘properly broken’ because now it can be properly fixed (or replaced in this case). Dad chuckled at my random prayer, but then responded by thanking God that He’s breaking the Church in this nation so that it can be renewed.

He’s right. We’ve cried so many times over the past few decades for Jesus to bring revival and have cried, fasted and interceded on our nation’s behalf. I believe Jesus has heard and acted on each of those prayers, and is doing just that. Revival necessitates death. It’s time for us, the Western Church, to learn what it looks like to pick up our crosses. It’s time that we learned how to count the cost and watch beauty spring up from the ashes as we bury our old and water the new.

This season is an opportunity for exactly that.

I believe right now is the time for us to crumble all our idols of comfortable worship and religion and reassess everything we believe and know God to be. This time is a precious, precious gift that God is giving us to strengthen our faith and prepare us to stand firm on His Word and goodness.

He’s doing it.

He is preparing His Bride.

Take heart. He knows exactly what He’s doing.

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 “And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.  For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it —  lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him,  saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’?  Or what king, going to make war against another king, does not sit down first and consider whether he is able with ten thousand to meet him who comes against him with twenty thousand?  Or else, while the other is still a great way off, he sends a delegation and asks conditions of peace.  So likewise, whoever of you does not forsake all that he has cannot be My disciple.”
Luke 14:27‭-‬33 NKJV

One of my weaknesses is that I ‘strongly dislike’ being falsely accused. From a petty, “Abbie, did you put the shirt there?” said in a mildly accusatory tone to a, “Abbie, why did you take my shoes?” (laundry examples were all I could think of), my blood gets pretty easily boiled by being reprimanded for something I didn’t do.

It’s something that I’m very aware of, and recently I’ve taken to having a more light hearted and sarcastic approach in response. One of my favourite phrases to respond to a petty false accusation such as, “Abbie, did you take my charger?” or “Abbie, why did you move my stuff?” is “Yes, I did. I did it just to annoy you.” (making sure that this is said with a cheeky smile).

It’s had a very successful response as family members acknowledge the implications of their accusations. The following conversation happens fairly regularly:

Matt: “Abbie, did you move my *blank*”

Me: “Yes, I did it just to annoy you.”

Mum: “Abbie, why would you do that?!”

*Cue me shrugging and cheekily smiling.*

Matt: “No, Mum, she’s lying. She thinks she’s funny.”

*Cue Matt trying to tickle me and apologetically saying,* “Abbie, do you know where it is?” (In a much more loving tone.)

As successful and entertaining as this approach has been, when it comes to more serious matters than my organisational habbits, I find that I still respond very frustratedly and offendedly. I repeat to myself often that:

“For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.
I Peter 3:17 NKJV”

And I remind myself that Jesus didn’t defend Himself. He let others think what they wanted about Him because He knew who He was and who His Father said He was. Phew. When I realised that that’s the root of it all, I began to see that learning to not be hurt or offended by false accusations is actually incredibly important. We need to know who we are and who our Father is and have peace and confidence in that. When our fruit shows that we aren’t confident in that, it’s evidence that we have some learning and remembering to do.

So, lesson 1. Know who your Father is and who you are. From here flows pretty much everything.

Lesson 2. These mild trials are preparation for our future and the molding of our characters.

I’m learning that in me choosing to face this weakness now, I’m being prepared for larger moments in my future in which I’ll be accused of larger things. Things that hurt my pride, reputation, and heart. But in those moments, I’m being prepared to respond without offense or self-defense, but instead, to respond like Jesus did and focus on knowing who I am and on loving the other person well.

I’m confident that I’ll continue to struggle and be refined in this area, but I’m also confident that I’ll increasingly learn to respond like Jesus.

So, life lesson: Jesus is using even our littlest frustrations and weakness for His glory and our good. Let this give you so much peace and hope in whatever your weaknessnes are.

And remember: Jesus is so kind. So be kind to yourself and those around you. Have a listen to ‘Be Kind to Yourself’ by Andrew Peterson and ‘Good and Loved’ by Travis Greene and Steffany Gretzinger.

Also, if you have any other life lessons that you’re learning in this area, please share them with me! We learn best when we learn together.

“O Lord , You have searched me and known me. You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O Lord , You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.”
Psalms 139:1‭-‬6 NKJV

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV

My sister and I read C.S. Lewis’ Narnia series over the summer. (If you haven’t read them all recently, do it!) There are so many beautiful and striking parallels to both the Christian experience generally and these specific times. However, I want to spend some time on my two favourite quotes from the series.

1. “Safe?” said Mr Beaver …”Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

The safety of Jesus.

What does it look like to have a safe Father? I think this question is often misunderstood. However, I think Corrie Ten Boom understood it almost perfectly when she wrote:

“There are no ‘if’s’ in God’s world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety – let us pray that we may always know it!”

Corrie Ten Boom, The Hiding Place

This quote comes from a point in the book in which Corrie has just narrowly avoided a violent death, as a metal shard came flying through the window onto her pillow whilst she went downstairs for a few minutes. I think this quote is actually Corrie quoting what her sister, Betsie (the-overflowing-with-faith hero), said to her in response to Corrie’s shock at nearly dying.

This is so beautiful in the context of the Ten Boom sister’s story. (Again, if you haven’t read it, do!) The revelation that the ‘only safe place is in His will’ became an anthem for them throughout their lives. But their lives were far from safe. They sheltered and hid Jews during WW11, and were dragged off to various concentration camps where they experienced unthinkable horrors. Bestie even died in the concentration camp.

You may observe, “Their lives following Jesus were far from safe.” And, from an earthly perspective, you would be right. But Corrie and Betsie didn’t have an earthly perspective, they had a heavenly one. They knew that Jesus was working all they saw and went through for their good and His will. Even if it meant suffering and dying at the cruel hands of Nazis. They knew Who their safe place was and where they were going.

You see, from a heavenly perspective, they were always safe. Jesus was always holding them and knew exactly what He was doing.

This is what Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego understood so well when they were threatened with a fiery death. The natural consequences of faithfulness are incomparable with the reward of a pleased King and Father.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18 NKJV

We need to know this now more than ever, and we need to increasingly know it! That as diseases, natural disasters, corrupt goverments, unfaithful friends and dark times threaten to steal our peace, we have a good, kind and powerful Father who will hold us through it all. He knows what He’s doing. If we’re safe and comfortable in our homes, He is good. If we’re ill and dying, He is good. If we’re in prison, He is good. If we’re suffering unspeakable torment for Him, He is good. Let it sink down that there is nothing that is worthy of our fear apart from Him. And fearing Him is the most fearless and free place to be.

I won’t stop saying that even death itself is a victory for those in Jesus. Let’s live like it.

2. “He’s not a tame lion.”

Whew. This quote has so much depth! It is an anthem repeated throughout the series that was intitally uttered in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe to Lucy to help her understand his character. However, in The Last Battle, this anthem is repeated, but it’s now a phrase used to doubt and question his character. Many generations of Narnians have lived since the time of Queen Lucy or any other character who had a personal relationship with Alsan and trouble comes to Narnia. *Spoiler* A villain has dressed a naive animal in lion skins, and is pretending that it is Aslan Himself. The manipulative villain begins to tell Narnians that Aslan has commanded them to do all kinds of questionable and outright evil things. In light of this, many Narnians are very confused. They always thought Aslan was a good king and lion, but now he was apparently an evil dictator. They reasoned amongst themselves, “He’s not a tame lion.” And all of a sudden, a phrase that once spoke of his power and wonder was spoken to mean that he was too fearful and wild to be good and trusted. Amongst other adventures, this all leads to Narnia in utter chaos and many Narnians completely lose hope and tragically reject King Aslan.

There are so many incredible Biblical narratives going on in this book, but the one that I want to touch on, and that I believe C.S. Lewis was referencing, was this: The Tribulation

For those of us who know our Bibles and prophecy, we know that the Tribulation is a time of struggle that will come upon the Earth in which horrors and evil that this world has never seen will come and will all end in the returning of our King Jesus and the ushering in of His millennial reign.

What I believe Lewis was touching on was this: the Pre, Mid, Post Trib question. I don’t know if you’ve ever spent time studying theology or have been in a debate around this subject. But, if you have, you most likely came away confused and frustrated and, hopefully, saying, “Well, it doesn’t matter, anyway. I know where I’m going.”

While this is a faithful statement based on the true confidence of salvation, I contend that it does matter. The Bible speaks of revival and falling away happening in the tension before and during the Tribulation, and I believe much of it will center around the battle for understanding the character of Jesus.

In an FAI Bible study video hosted by Dalton Thomas earlier this year, he spoke on this subject and urged Christians to dig into God’s Word for the answer. Despite popular belief, the Bible is very clear on this point: the church will not be raptured before or during the Tribulation. There is so much the Bible has to say about this, and I encourage you to watch the FAI video “We will be radiant and ready, not raptured and removed.” on YouTube. However, I just want to quickly focus on the importance of knowing the character of Jesus.

In The Last Battle, because so many Narnians didn’t know Aslan’s character personally, when the first sign of real trouble came, they quickly doubted that he was ever good. That, friends, is exactly what will happen to people, including Christians, who don’t know Jesus personally when the Tribulation starts. Many, many Christians have been promised that safety in Jesus looks like being removed from the worst hardships. And it’s the Christians who have bought this lie who will question, when trouble comes to their door, if Jesus was even ever good. Many, friends, will reject Him completely because they never actually knew Him.

We can already see the evidence of this in play, from both perspectives. For those who know their God, when trouble comes knocking in their door, they say Jesus is worthy of this too. I think of the persecuted and abused women of the Middle East who endure unthinkable torture at the hands of evil men, but who hold on to Jesus all the more. I also think of many Western Christians who, when disease or financial ruin threaten them, turn their back on God for being unfair and unkind.

This is why knowing the character of Jesus and His response to our sufferings is so important. It is not in the nature of Jesus to leave or abandon. However, this is exactly what He would be doing if He raptured the church in the earth’s greatest time of need. The Christian presence on Earth will be powerful, glorious and faithful during the tribulation. Many of us will lose our lives in unthinkable ways for simply being faithful, but as the Ten Boom sisters understood, it will all be a part of our glorious and kind Father’s plan. He is so much better than we know.

“…looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:2 NKJV

Jesus will never ask us to do anything that He isn’t right there with us in or that He doesn’t have a glorious plan for. Friends, this time is a gift. Get to know Jesus in this season. Fill your lamps with the oil of intimacy and rejoice in all seasons that our Jesus is good, wise and kind. It all has purpose. We have nothing to fear. Let’s be like Jesus and face death and suffering with JOY. And let’s love others fearlessly. I believe neighbours and kings will come to know Jesus as we live relentlessly faithful lives.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9 NKJV

Maranatha and much love.

I’ve had many people ask me a variant of the following question since I was a child: “Why won’t you watch Harry Potter if you watch Lord of the Rings. They both have magic. It’s hypocritical.”

It’s taken me a long time to have a solid answer to that question, but my answer now is, what is the fruit of it? Do you see people buying wizard hats and casting spells after watching  LotR? I’ve never seen it. However, this is exactly what happens for the majority after watching or reading J.K. Rowling’s novels.

As for Harry Potter growing up, I had 3 main reasons why I could never watch it. Firstly, I was instructed by my parents to never watch it because it was evil. I remember being at a friend’s house when I was around 6 and leaving the room to play with Barbies when it was switched on. That’s not to say however that I simply followed everything my parents ever told me; I argued with them over many things if ever I disagreed. However, (and this is reason 2) growing up in a Christian household, I’ve always had a very awake and sensitive spirit. When I saw Harry Potter playing, I would literally feel the demonic warfare. And thirdly, for as long as I can remember, magic has never been a game. I grew up with a white witch on my road, and it was common knowledge that she sacrificed cats. The very real reality of the heavenly warfare, and the part that witchcraft played in it, was sobering. The thought of entertaining it was unthinkable.

My mum has always been the most spiritually a tune amongst us. When we first moved into our previous property, she was convinced that witchcraft was occurring. We mostly ignored her, until we were told that our house was an old lay line: used as a meeting point for witches and seances. When we heard this, we rejoiced as a family.  We had a deep conviction that it was why we lived there. The glory of Jesus taking what was once a demonic foothold and claiming it for Himself sent joy through all our veins! We became more vigilant in praying over the house and pleading the blood of Jesus over every door frame, window, and corner and rejoiced in Jesus glorifying Himself through us in that house.

However, the ever spiritually atune mum, still felt that there was occult worship happening around us. She found an old shack in the woods and was convinced that it was used for occult gatherings. We told her to stop being so suspicious, but slowly, I started to sense it too. There was nothing provable, but sometimes I could literally feel the battle in the heavenlies around our property. And then, we started noticing our cats. 

At first we couldn’t figure it out, but they would regularly come home with a patch of hair shaved off on their legs or backs. For a long time, we tried to reason it as being a scratch from a twig, but there was no mistaking the very clean razor shaves. Mum slowly realised that only the black hairs on the cats were shaved and became convinced that our cats’ lost hair was being used in occult practices. When it finally dawned on me that she was right, I started praying for my cats. I prayed that they would be covered by the blood of Jesus and that no hair on their bodies could be used in satanic worship.  I prayed that the witches would be overwhelmed by the presence of Jesus when they came near our cats and that the conviction of sin and wickedness would cause them to run to Jesus. I prayed often over the cats. I didn’t really think about it that much after that, and I don’t know what happened in the lives of the witches, but I know that our cats stopped being shaven.

You see, there is a very real spiritual realm. In fact, it’s more real than what we currently experience.  Jesus is Lord and King and Redeemer, but He has an enemy. Don’t make yourself an enemy of Jesus by aligning with him.

“Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
Galatians 5:19‭-‬21 NKJV

Having such experiences in my life has neither made me afraid of the enemy nor caused me to be hateful and fearful of those who worship him. There are many witches around, and when I come into contact with them or hear that they live near me, I just want to love them, pray for them and long that they would know their true source of power and strength. As stated in the verse above, all sin is sin. They are in need of Jesus just as much as the rest of mankind.

However, I pray that, in me sharing and writing this, you would be awakened to spiritual things. We’re not called to be blind to the enemy’s ploys, and we’re defintiely not called to be entertained by it. As children of the light and children of the day, we’re called to see where darkness is and actively partner with Jesus in warfare. It’s not a fearful thing; it’s not a fairytale; it’s our calling as followers of Jesus.

“You are all sons of light and sons of the day. We are not of the night nor of darkness. Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober.”
I Thessalonians 5:5‭-‬6 NKJV

“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.”
Ephesians 6:10‭-‬13 NKJV

Know that if you have made Jesus your Lord, you are on the winning side. His is the victory.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
II Timothy 1:7 NKJV

Blessings, Abbie

I’ve never written a book review before (other than as homework for homeschool days!), but I recently read Kathy Lee’s A Captive In Rome and was blown away. I don’t know if you reading this are in a season of life in which you are searching for edifying things for you and your family to do, but, if you are this review is for you!

For many years now, Elizabeth has tried to get me to read it, saying that it’s her all-time favourite book, but I just never gave it the time. I expected it to be a sweet child fiction, and knew that it was about First Century Christians, but it didn’t really capture my attention. However, Elizabeth finally convinced me into reading it with her and a friend a couple of weeks ago; and, goodness, am I glad she did.

The basic plot is about a young British Celt named Bryn whom is taken captive by Romans and sold into slavery in Rome. For the duration of the book, Bryn spends most of his time trying to find freedom and return to his beloved Britian. However, at the house in which he is a slave lives a Christian slave, Tiro. Bryn soon finds himself drawn to this caring, thoughtful man, and, despite his hate for Rome and desperation to go home, he forms a deep father-son like bond with him. Tiro teaches Bryn many things about the Jesus he serves, and Bryn repeatedly finds himself wanting to know this foreign God whom Tiro calls ‘Father’.

The book leads you through many of Bryn’s personal struggles and tribulations and (*spoilers coming*) ends with one of the most striking parallels of redemption that I’ve ever read outside of God’s Word. After various grievous and painful experiences, Bryn finally receives the freedom that he long hoped for. However, instead of using his freedom to fulfil his own desires, he chooses to use his freedom to serve his beloved Tiro and declares, “Everything I have is yours.”

Goodness, at this point in the book I was nearly bawling. It is so beautiful. The striking parallels that the story paints of sacrifice, redemption and freedom are stunning. Galatians 5:13 comes to mind, “For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” This is the greatest picture of freedom I can imagine. Jesus, who is our King and Lord, as the Lead Servant. He has shown us that true freedom looks like endless serving.

I love that Bryn finds his true freedom, not in the absence of a life of slavery, but in a life devoted to Christ that is lived out by service to others. In the end, Bryn becomes on the one hand more of a slave than he ever was: not only in working for his master, but in doing and giving everything for a friend; and, on the other more free than he could have ever imagined.

This really is my story, and is every Christian’s story, that as we die to oursleves and our own desires, Jesus comes and burns in us a passion to love and serve Him and from there to love and serve others with abandon.

So, in conclusion, I loved this book, and I look forward to reading its sequels with Lizzie. It’s such a treasure to find children’s books with such depth and revelation. There are many other treasures of revelation to be pulled out of this book, and I’m finally beginning to understand why Lizzie holds this book so dear. I unreservedly encourage you to find and read this book! Both personally and with your children or family. It is absolutely beautiful.

“For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more”
I Corinthians 9:19 NKJV

“As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God.
I Peter 4:10 NKJV”

“Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:28 NKJV

I want to share the past three weeks with you. This is a very personal story, but I hope that through reading this your hearts would be settled and minds awakened to the wonder and glory of our good and gracious King.

A little over three weeks ago, my parents received a phone call from the home that my grandmother was cared for in. They let us know that Buba (my dad’s mum) was having increasing fits and seizures and that we should prepare to say goodbye. Over next two (ish) weeks, we visited her every other day. She stopped eating and being able to swallow water. The doctors applied a pain patch, and told us every day that it would probably be her last.

A bit of back story: Buba battled dementia for 21 years, the last 7 of those being completely bed bound. However, she was one of THE strongest ladies, and constantly surprised doctors and staff with her strength and will to live. Over this time, we as a family battled many times over how Buba was living.  We prayed that Jesus would take her home to be with Him, away from her suffering, but that more than that that Jesus would have His way. While she was in that home, we know that she carried the presence of Jesus and shone like a bright light. 

During this time, when we visited her we read her the Bible and sang hymns and worship songs. We also laughed and played around her, and as much as possible tried to engage her in conversation.  For about 3 years, she pretty much lost the ability to speak. However, occasionally she would catch one of our eyes and let out a witty or touching remark: like scoffing Sam’s joke with  a “no” or replying with “yes” to dad asking if she knew that we loved her. However, these visits lasted a long time, and we as a family often questioned why she was still holding on when she could be with Jesus in Heaven.

Two weeks ago, we went to visit her for the last time. During this visit, Buba looked like death. Her mouth had started decaying, eyes set back, and all physical function all but lost. However, her spirit was so alive! You could feel it in the room. I started to question why she was holding on when her body was clearly finished with this life. I turned to dad and asked if he gave her permission to leave. He said yes and then went to her and had what I can only describe and the most beautiful conversation I have ever heard.

He asked for her forgiveness for anything he had done growing up or after, and spoke forgiveness over her for anything she had done to him. He spoke in faith that anyone who she may have wronged in the past had forgiven her, and reminded her that she had forgiven them too. He declared the forgiveness and blood of Jesus over her, and reminded her that Jesus is good and faithful. He told her not to worry about who might or might not be in Heaven to greet her, but simply to trust in her beloved Jesus.

After we kissed her goodnight, prayed with her and walked out, I asked dad if he had ever had that conversation with his mum before. He said, “no”, and I knew in my spirit that I had just witnessed a great healing for both Dad and Buba.

Buba passed away in her sleep the next morning, and we were left grieving our loss and wondering and rejoicing over the perfection of our precious King. We had a week of intense funeral and family planning, and were so well supported by many around us. We were truly able to join in with the party in Heaven that she is home!! That funeral and time of grieving and rejoicing will always be one of my favourite times. Buba has gone ahead of us into glory!!

We realised very quickly that God works all things for good and had done so again in this season. Not only was celebrating Jesus’ triumph over death the BEST way to enter into a season of fear over death in the world, but it also dawned on us that had Buba passed away only days later, we wouldn’t have been able to visit her. All this and so much more made that week a spiritual high for my family. Our faith and joy were tangible and overflowing with gratitude to our sweet Jesus. However, I knew that every mountain top is simply preparation for the battle in the valley below, and I knew that we needed to deeply take stock and be prepared for our faith to be tested once again.

The day that Buba entered glory, Dad said, “This is the time that we put our faith into action and believe what God says in His Word. ”  He couldn’t have been more right.  Only a few days later, a dear friend of ours, Emily, tried to take her life and was in a coma.

The day before I heard about Emily, the word AWAKE was ringing through my head. I didn’t really know why, but thought it was God’s Word for this nation right now.

 ‘Therefore He says: “Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light.”’
Ephesians 5:14 NKJV

While I know that this is God’s Word for this nation, when I heard about Emily the next day, I knew this was for her also.

My family and I joined with so many others who were praying AWAKE EMILY, and entered an intense weekend of intercession pleading for her life. The faith of Emily’s sister, Annabel, woke such faith in me, and I marvelled at being allowed to partner with her in our prayers. She is one of the strongest and bravest ladies I’ve ever known.

On Sunday afternoon, while the world was preparing for quarantine and hospitals were locked down to visitors, my family and I went to pray around the QE hopsital. We drove around the perimeter of the hospital 7 times like warriors around Jericho singing praises to Jesus and speaking life and redemption over Emily. On the 6th and 7th times around, I felt in my spirit that Jesus was saying, “You have been faithful, let Me do the rest.” We drove home from that battle with a deep conviction that Jesus had heard our prayers and that the battle fought over Emily was not lost. 

When we arrived home, I learned that while we were driving around the hospital, Emily had passed away. We felt a deep sadness, but also an awareness that Jesus was faithful.  It was a dark moment for me in which I had to go over everything Jesus ever said He was and cling to it despite what I saw.

The lyrics to a song I wrote last year were as plain as day:

“You’re using every moment of this story
For Your infinite and endless glory
And at the end of every page I know I’ll say
You’ve always been good; You’ll always be good.”

We learned that as we were praying over Emily, God was turning deep sadness into joy, as four families (including three children) received much needed organ transplants that day. We were able to rejoice with so many others that not only had Jesus heard our prayers and given life to sweet Emily, who is now living a more abundant life than we can imagine, but also gave life to four other precious people.

Our King and Father really is so good.

A day later, two days ago, the Prime Minister announced a national lock down. We as a family were discouraged by this, as it removes the opportunity for many to live by faith and meet with other believers.  However, in our sadness at this decision, we are also celebrating that our Jesus works all things for the good of those who love Him and is providing opportunity for the body to seek Him in new ways and for those who don’t know Him to seek Him.

He is so endlessly faithful. Know as you read this that Jesus has conquered the grave. There is nothing to fear. Our God will go behind and before, making a way where there is no way.

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“Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:6-9 NKJV

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance. Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: “For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.” Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:18‭-‬39 NKJV

I haven’t shared anything on here for while, so I thought I’d let you into my latest ponderings.

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I found myself quoting Lucy Maud Montgomery on my wall this morning. As I wrote it, I was thinking about the scenes that the line was used in in the movie, and it really struck me in a profound way.

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I shared this to Instagram:

I love this quote from Anne of Green Gables. While the context of the book is slightly different, the movie uses it in two moving scenes.
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The first time it is used in the movie, Anne is walking home with her teacher, Miss Stacey, after a devastating day. Miss Stacey is encouraging Anne’s dejected soul, which then inspires Anne to declare over herself, “Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it.” To which her teacher replies chuckling, “With no mistakes in it yet.”
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I love this line, because as Anne is invigorated with fresh hope for tomorrow, in which none of her past mistakes need dictate her future success, she is also reminded that she probably will make mistakes. But the emphasis here is on HOPE. Whether or not tomorrow goes well, she is encouraged to HOPE for good things in herself.
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The second scene is as Anne is looking despairingly at Gil. Miss Stacey is again at hand to offer wise advice, and quotes Anne’s afore said mantra. The context of the scene is that Anne is feeling somewhat betrayed and hurt by Gil. While her feelings are highly magnified by her sensitive soul and imagination, Gil has managed to wound her without even really realising it.
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I love this moment even more than the first. Miss Stacey turns this truth back on Anne and on effect says, “If tomorrow has hope for you, then it has hope for others too.” The emphasis here is on FORGIVENESS. Miss Stacey is helping Anne to apply the same grace that she has learned to apply to herself, and apply it to others. It’s a beautiful moment!
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Know that EACH day is fresh, bursting with hope and anticipation for you. And as you let your soul fill with grace and hope, step into the overflow and let it pour over all those around you. Forgiveness is theirs because forgiveness is yours.
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“The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning.”

Lamentations 3:22‭-‬23 NLT

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It made me think about how often we don’t apply the same grace we do to oursleves to others, or vica versa. It can be easy to hope for oursleves, but we (I) can find that it’s hard to hope for the people who have hurt us. We can find oursleves expecting or even wanting them to fail. But this is SO far from what our Father has for us.

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As salt and light, we’re called to be people who endlessly and relentlessly speak LIFE over the people around us; even in our thought lives.

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We’re called to have the same love for others that He has for us, so when He says, “For I know the plans I have for you,… They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”
(Jeremiah 29:11 NLT) we’re called to say that over the people around us. We’re called to hope for them and walk along side them into freedom. No matter how many times we or they fail.

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Because, as Anne says, “Tomorrow is a new day, with no mistakes in it yet. “

I’ve been doing some ancestry research recently and have been fascinated by a few things. One of them is the pattern of family. Lives and choices are repeated and the examples of the fathers and mothers are past down from generation to generation.

I have more history in some family lines than others, and some family lines are simply a list of names and dates. However, even in the family lines where names and dates is all I have (ie. I’m unsure of vocation, location, or generally what their lives looked like) there is one pattern that I can always see: the pattern of family. I can see where the narrative of adultery and unfaithfulness repeats itself again and again as husbands of the same line have 2 or 3 wives all within each other’s lifetimes. And I can see where couples have left a legacy to their children of integrity and faithfulness in lines that are consistent in nuclear family units.

It’s these families that caught my attention. I noticed through simple dates and patterns, that even in the 1700’s, couples were having various numbers of children. Some would have two or three, while others had seven or ten. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that contraception outside of natural family planning pretty much wasn’t a thing back then. And I was struck by the grace of God in it all.

We’re often taught that sex=babies as though it’s some kind of controllable chemical reaction. When, if we remember our biology, we know that X finding Y is a complete miracle (even the lab). Every child conceived is an intentional act of God.

It’s here I was struck as I was reminded that God never gives us more than we can handle outside of Him. God could give a couple 3 children, and they could complain that they don’t have enough time or money in their lives. God could give a couple 14 children, and they could complain that they can’t handle it. God could give a couple no children, and they could complain that God is unfair and that they’re desperate for children. But, when a couple receives the grace of God in their lives, they see it’s the kindness of God that bestows on them what they have, and that God desires to be their strength and leader in every moment of it all.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17 NKJV

I’m preaching to myself here, but I’m learning that God is a GOOD God. I’m learning that everything He gives us in life, gifts, opportunities, resources…, He longs for us to trust Him with. He longs that we’d invite Him into our stories as He has so kindly invited us into His and be a grateful, joyful, and servant-hearted people in all we find ourselves doing.

I’ve been struggling with joy recently. Tangent. But I’ve been repeatedly finding myself overwhelmed in a wave of disappointment, discouragement and sadness. Everytime it comes over me, I find that it’s a choice to break free. I’ve also learned that it’s okay to go through the motions. It’s okay to hurt and be sad. It’s okay to take a moment to not be okay. But, it’s also so important to not let those moments defeat us, and instead to use them to make us run to Him faster and faster.

My anthem right now is praying in each season, moment and even argument that I thank God because He’s using it for my good and His glory. If you take one thing away from this blog, try making that a daily prayer. It changes my heart and perspective every time. It makes me stop playing the victim and realise that God’s using what I’m going through to paint a more glorious picture than I can imagine. It helps me to search for the good in the other person or situation, and it always overwhelms my overwhelmed soul that He a gracious Father.

I want that to be the anthem and legacy of my life. I want to look back and see that I trusted Him and chose to enjoy every part of my life and every person in my life. I want to increasingly want what He wants and to grow a soul so rooted in His grace and kindness that I’m immovable in any weather. I want us to be a people who know and live like He is a good and gracious God.

He is so kind.

“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”
Ephesians 2:4‭-‬7 NKJV

“Oh, give thanks to the Lord , for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.”
I Chronicles 16:34 NKJV

” The Lord is good to all, And His tender mercies are over all His works.”
Psalms 145:9 NKJV

“Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.”
Psalms 100:4‭-‬5 NKJV

I’ve been wanting to share a little more about my journey for a while, but I’ve been waiting until I saw a breakthrough. I wanted to share After I saw a victory, so that I could share it with you and encourage you in what I’d learned. But yesterday, Hannah shared her first vlog of being in America. In it she shared that she felt God leading her to be honest in all the emotions: the good, the hard and the celebration. I felt God tell me to do the same, so I’m going to share with you what I’m learning in this season.

I’ve been learning to drive with mum over the last 3 months, and, while it’s been hard, it’s been a real turning point in both my relationship with mum and my courage on the road. It was going so well in fact, that mum confidently booked me a driving lesson this past Tuesday to see if the instructor thought I’d be ready for the test soon. I’m still not sure what came over me, I’m sure hormones had something to do with it, but in the days and morning leading up to it I felt more and more overwhelmed. I knew that I would go for the lesson and do my best, but I felt such an inadequacy and fear over me that 5 minutes before the lesson, I journaled in my phone asking God to help me to take JOY in my weakness and to help me not feel overwhelmed.

Just before the lesson, I ran into Tesco to use the toilet. Even as I was walking in, I felt a rush of emotions and by the time I’d walked around the shop and couldn’t find the toilet (about 2 minutes), I had broken down in tears. I tried to compose myself, but just before the lesson I had mum pray with me, and I broke down again. As I’m sure you can imagine, the lesson didn’t go terrifically. I cried pretty much the whole time, feeling inadequate and fearful that I’d destroy the tutor’ s car. He was very patient with me and just patiently waited whilst I had numerous *moments*.

After the lesson, I felt crushed. I felt I had let everyone down. I couldn’t shake the disappointment, and it made me angry. The next day, while mum was driving I felt fear rush over me. I tried to shake it off, but I just withdrew more and more. We had a prayer meeting that night, and mum got everyone to pray for me. I felt my spirit lift as I basked in my Father’s joy and the love of the people around me. I was reminded that it’s okay to not be okay, and that I’m already loved, accepted and celebrated BEFORE I do anything right. I don’t need to be worthy because Jesus is.

I felt courage rise up within me, so yesterday mum took me driving again. It honestly went fine, but all the emotions flooded back, and by the time we got home I was bawling again. Mum took my face and said, “Abbie, you’re always telling me the importance of being still. Go be still.” So I did. I went to my room, cried a lot, and soaked myself in the word and Presence of God. I read Psalm 119, and the phrase ‘revive me’ took me. I let Jesus revive me and remind me that He’s good, He always has been, and always will be. He’s always been faithful.

I’m becoming increasingly aware that everything we do, pursue and learn God desires to use for His purposes and the Kingdom. I’ve known that my driving is only a small part of my ministry in whatever it looks like, but I know that I’ll drive when God wants me to. He’ll equip me with everything I need when the time comes.

I’m learning, slowly and uncomfortably yet gloriously, that God uses all our lives for His glory when we let Him. Every moment of our story will be used to bring Him glory in the end. Even the struggles, the aches and the pains can be seen through the eyes of beauty and not shame. I’m learning that.

There’s a moment just before Amanda Cook’s ‘Pieces’ in the Bethel Moments album where she says that God is re-writing our stories. Over every place shame ever wrote our story, He’s marking with His love. It’s not perspective; it’s innocence. Ugh. That wrecked me. We are free. We are loved. We are adored. Not because of what we’ve done or who we are, but because of what Hes done and who He IS. And no inability to achieve a ‘thing’ can ever change that.

In this we can glory. Not that we are strong, but that He is. He’s enough.

I feel like God’s undoing me and reminding me that I am nothing of and in myself. I’m so grateful that everytime I try to achieve anything to prove something to myself I fail. I’m so glad that He’s constantly showing me that He’s the only One who’s strong enough.

I have nothing to prove. I don’t need to be good enough. I have nothing to strive to earn. And neither do you.

We’re already loved beyond measure; celebrated before we even moved.

There’s a line from Steffany Gretzinger’s song ‘Oxygen’ that goes:

“You see strength in every movement. Baby steps and short breaths, anything is progress. You sustain my every moment.”

I got this picture of a besotted father holding his new born baby girl. I could see his eyes light up and celebrate as she breathed and moved her fingers. I keep feeling that that’s how Father God feels about us. HE’S JUST SO WILD THAT WE EXIST. We already bring Him such joy! We don’t have to earn it. Every breath brings Him delight as we simply live for what we were created for: Him.

So, as you read this and as you and I are working through all of life’s stuff, be still and know that He’s God. He’s the only goal. He’s the only joy. He’s the only satisfaction. He’s the only purpose. Everything we need is found in Him.

Come to the well, lay down your weary head, and rest. You don’t need to be good at the thing you’re striving at, you just need to be His. You’re already a victory.

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“For the Lord God will help Me; Therefore I will not be disgraced; Therefore I have set My face like a flint, And I know that I will not be ashamed.”
Isaiah 50:7 NKJV

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Also, take a moment to thank God for crushing you in whatever you’re going through. Rejoice that as He makes new wine out of you, He’s refining you and purifying you. It’s here that He makes us ‘less of us and more of Him’ so that He can continue to dwell in our hearts more and more richly. And that’s all that matters. His Presence. More and more and more. No amount of earthly sacrifice, discomfort or pain will ever compare to the beauty and joy of being His and knowing Him.

I feel like my family and I are currently walking through a season of mourning. It’s easy to become discouraged when you find yourself in seasons of trial. The human response is to self-protect, withdraw and become despondent. But, I’ve seen so many glimmers of hope and light in this season that I couldn’t have seen anywhere else. I’m constantly reminded that there’s a song that can only be sung in the night, and that there’s a deep preciousness in it.

‘Breakdowns are good for You’ is the title of one of the books that we have on our shelves. It’s a powerful book that reminds us that it’s IN the trial, in the pain, and in the confusion that we’re led to CLING to Jesus like no other time.

I watched a sermon from Joni Erickson Tada the other day, in which she spoke brokenheartedly about our (specifically Western, but also human) fear of suffering. She used the example of how many born again Christians advocate FOR euthanasia and spoke about how this is evidence of our lack of understanding of suffering. We run from it, avoid it and fear it, but rarely do we face it head on like a child of God is called to.

A few years ago, I decided to as much as possible go without painkillers. This was largely because I was in search of natural remedies that I could use frequently in place of drugs like Paracetamol, Ibuprofin and Aspirin, but also because I noticed something about my character that was changing. This is a girly example, but I noticed that the hours or days of pain that I willfully endured were a great opportunity to test my patience, kindness, self-lessness, focus and endurance. Whether you’re a guy or a girl, I’m sure at some point you’ve heard females make excuses for their bad attitude by blaming it on their hormones. Obviously, there’s some truth to this, and unfailingly once a month I am WAY more emotional for a week than usual (which is impressive because I’m a highly emotional and sensitive individual normally). I’ll cry at the house not being clean, lunch being late, or a word spoken slightly passively. It’s a very real battle of the flesh to keep control of my emotions and remember to continually take possession of the Spirit’s fruits. But, the addition of severe pain in those weeks provides a unique opportunity for self-denial. I’ve learned that if I can be patient, kind, soft-spoken and joyful when I’m in great pain and feeling miserable, it’s much easier to be all those things when I’m feeling great. I’m learning to revel in these weeks instead of fearing them.

It’s a very practical example, but one that has really marked me. It has changed my attitude in the face of opposition, struggle, frustration and pain. I’ve learned to expect to have 1 or 2 completely sleepless nights a month due to pain and discomfort, and I look forward to the time with God that I have during these nights. Instead of fearing the pain and sleeplessness, I rejoice in the fact that I get a whole night of talking to Jesus!

One of my favourite quotes right now is, “God cares more about our character than our comfort.” Oh my goodness this is so true!! Joni Erickson Tada pointed out that God takes no delight in our pain. He hurts with us. It HURTS Him to see His children hurt, but He values our hearts SO highly that He allows us to experience pain and refinement. Paul puts it like this:

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (I Peter 1:6-7 NKJV)

And again:

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” (James 1:2‭-‬4 NKJV)

This is wild!! This totally redefines suffering for the believer! This tells us that it is actually the KINDNESS of God that causes Him to allow us to experience trials.

A friend recently shared with me about the relational struggles that she’s having. After she shared, she said, “I look around at normal people, and ask ‘Why me, God?!'” It’s easy to look at our problems and think that it’s unfair and that God’s being unkind. This is our human response. But, how often do we respond with the mind of Christ and be THANKFUL for our suffering in that it is an opportunity to see Jesus more clearly and become more like Him. This isn’t to say that we should welcome sickness or pain; they are enemies of the Kingdom of Heaven and therefore shouldn’t be nurtured. However, we can still be thankful for them as we recognise that they remind us that this is not our home and ever beckon us to realise our identity in the Father.

“And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”
Romans 5:3‭-‬5 NKJV

I think it’s time for the Church to look like this. I think it’s time for us to embody glory in all things. This our calling; our true identity.

“Therefore do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me His prisoner, but share with me in the sufferings for the gospel according to the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.” (II Timothy 1:8‭-‬9 NKJV)

This holy calling of ours is so far beyond and above what we could envision. The pain that marks our story is unfolding a weight of glory in us that will be without price.

In commanding and exhorting us to rejoice in the trials, Paul repeatedly reminds us that this pain, this darkness, is only as passing thing; a mist that must one day lift. As Sam says, “But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer.” (The Two Towers, LOTR) Realising this has given me strength and joy many times in the face of struggle. From small family arguments to the fear of the unknown, KNOWING that all fear, pain, uncertainty and loss will one day be a memory gives me the confidence to ‘sing over my sorrows, dance over my troubles, and … laugh in the face of my trials‘ (Overcomer, Lucy Grimble).

It’s time for the Body to stop running from and avoiding struggles. We were called to OVERCOME. We can’t do that if we’re not facing anything that requires us to do battle.

“Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:7‭-‬9 NKJV

Let’s be people who face what hurts us, who confront what discomforts us, and who endure what pains us. It’s here, in our weakness, that the world will clearly see the glory of our God.

“He must increase, but I must decrease.”
John 3:30 NKJV

Let’s allow ourselves to become people who rejoice in all things and ceaselessly bring praise to our Father.

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He’s good.

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“Therefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and rest your hope fully upon the grace that is to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not conforming yourselves to the former lusts, as in your ignorance; but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, because it is written, “Be holy, for I am holy.” And if you call on the Father, who without partiality judges according to each one’s work, conduct yourselves throughout the time of your stay here in fear; knowing that you were not redeemed with corruptible things, like silver or gold, from your aimless conduct received by tradition from your fathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot. He indeed was foreordained before the foundation of the world, but was manifest in these last times for you who through Him believe in God, who raised Him from the dead and gave Him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.”
I Peter 1:13-21