Category: 2023

Friendship

Posted on by squishypancake19

So often, I get frustrated at myself for not being capable, good enough or strong enough for a task or situation. I’ll crumble to pieces and turn to my friends asking for prayer. And every time, when I expect them to be as disappointed in me as I am, they’re thankful for the opportunity to be there for me. It’s like they count loving me, praying for me, helping me, and walking alongside me a privilege.

I think I often expect people to only want to be around me when I’m at my best. And sure, it’s probably more fun for them (and for me) when I am, but I’ve found being vulnerable and honest with my friends in all my states of being does 2 things.

Firstly, it opens up an opportunity to grow in friendship. True, deep friendship never came from doing the easy things together. Having a running buddy, classmate, or friend that you do a hobby or thing you love with is fun, but that friendship will never become anything strong or eternal if it stays at that level. True friendship is spawned out of going through significant life events together. Life events in which both parties are honest about the process. The change, the hurt, the joys, the high and the lows. Someone who you walked through depression with or who was faithfully present in your change of season. It doesn’t always have to be an intense experience that creates bonds, it can just be in showing up when they’re sick or calling them when they need to talk.

And secondly, it helps both people know that they’re not alone. They’re not alone in their weaknesses, joys, loves or struggles. 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind.” Every time I read that, I remember that there is nothing that I ever struggle with that I’m ever alone in. Ever. There will always be someone (maybe not everyone, but someone) who can relate and will be able to help me through. There’s no path that I’ve walked that has never been walked before. “There’s nothing new under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 1:9) tells me that what I’m walking has been walked before and that there’s not only a “way of escape” but also a way to thrive in it. God works all things “for the good of those who love Him” (Romans 8:28), so every single thing we ever go through is an opportunity for Jesus to use it for His glory and turn it to victory in our lives. And more than that: victory in the lives of those around us. I’ve found that honesty in my struggles and victories encourages and empowers others in theirs. Nothing is ever wasted.

Pretty much every one of my anthems this year have come from conversations with friends in which they’ve spoken into my heart and situation the way only they could because they saw what I was feeling and going through from the perspective of things that they had gone through. The chorus of each of those anthems is that Jesus is our hope.

Hope’s a funny thing. It’s why we live and breathe, but there wouldn’t be any need for it if we never struggled. It’s almost like struggling is a gift that enables us to attain hope.

I get lost for words when I think of reasons why I’m thankful for the people God’s put in my life, but I know that even in that God’s greater. He’s the greatest friend. The highest lover. He’s the one who puts friendships in our lives and can take them out of our lives at any time He pleases. And it’ll all be a part of His glorious story that He’s been writing since the beginning of time. We only see a moment in this story, so it makes a lot of sense to trust the Author’s storyline. (‘i get overwhelmed sometimes’ – Abbie Gamboa)

So, I think what I’m saying is to not be discouraged in your failings or insufficiencies, because Jesus is enough for them and they’re an opportunity to deepen friendships through the realisation that we’re never, ever alone.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17

“My grace is sufficient for you; my strength is made perfect in your weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

29,220.

Posted on by squishypancake19

29,220.
The number of days in 80 years.


80 years.
The average lifespan in the UK.


What if we lived like each of those days are as precious as the next? Holding excitement and expectation for tomorrow whilst experiencing all the wonder of today.

What if we lived like our days are numbered, fleeting and miraculous? Like the sun that was hung in the sky today can’t be seen by tomorrow.

What if we lived like the moments we get today, the faces and breezes and sun kisses and conversations, only exist in today? Like tomorrow has enough of it’s own cares, and today deserves our full attention.

What we lived like life’s a gift: a wild, precious, and unpredictable narrative that we get to be written into? Like there’s only one Hero in the story, and we get to discover a little more of His character as each page unfolds.

What if we lived like we were put here on purpose? Today. Here. Now.

Finite.
Intentional.
Unrepeatable.
Individual.


I think part of what makes every moment precious is that it’ll never be found again.

The flower that uncurls before the sun. The smile from across the room. The splash you created when you dove in the pool. Moments that were yours. Briefly and faintly. But just for a moment, they were all yours.

I want to live like today is mine for the taking.

Like I get to choose what I do with it and then choose to give my all to it.

I want to live like L.M. Montgomery’s Anne and wake up each day whispering, “Dear world, you are very lovely, and I am glad to be alive in you.”

Because today is a gift given by a Lover. And the best way I can think of showing my thankfulness is to thoroughly enjoy the gift He’s given.

So, I’ll be thankful for today.

Come what may.

And I’ll be thankful that it only comes once.


“Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is.”
Psalms 39:4 NLT

“Since his days are determined, The number of his months is with You; You have appointed his limits, so that he cannot pass.”
Job 14:5 NKJV

Living like life is a to do list.

Posted on by Letters To Myself

Sometimes life feels like a to do list.

Spring lists and summer lists.

Workout routines, study schedules, diary entries, and calendars.

Ticking off each item systematically on the list and judging my daily success by the number of lines across the page.

Until.

Until I feel overcrowded.

Until marking off lines, meeting deadlines, and following new regimes stop fulfilling me.

When I remember that it’s empty.

All of it.

The morning devotionals, workouts, diets and schedules. The assignments and the projects. The cleaning and the cooking. The planning and the prepping. The prayer and the worship. The work and the play.

What’s the point if I regard each moment simply as another hour that I’ve successfully got through?

I find myself caught in a cycle of trying to measure my success at life by how well and consistently I perform.

Good things.

Like how time efficient, patient, gracious, loving, diligent, selfless, and forgiving I was that day.

But when evening comes, and I haven’t been all I expected of myself: when there’s entries that haven’t been crossed off on the list, when I wasn’t as kind or as patient as I could have been, or when I wasn’t as productive with an hour as I probably should have been, I find it hard to remember that my worth isn’t measured by my performance.

That God’s love for me doesn’t grow because He’s impressed with how well I did or diminish when I’m less than I should or could have been.

That actually. Maybe I’ve fallen back into striving and doing things in my own strength.

I never try to. I never aim for independence from my Lover or knowingly tell Him that I’m okay on my own.

But it seems that I wind up there, nevertheless.

When worship feels like a performance and prayer feels like I’m exchanging information at a business meeting, I’ve got to go back.

Right back.

First love back.

I’m so thankful for how gently God leads. How lovingly He shepherds.

I know it must be painful for Him to be treated like an entry on a to do list. To have the one who has His gaze rush through conversation with Him and try to get on to the next thing.

I’m learning.

Learning that it’s okay.

All of it.

What I do.

What I don’t do.

Heaven won’t remember my to do lists. Eternity is an eternal state of present-ness. When we’ll have finally learned that we’re adored exactly where we are, that we could never move His love for us, and that we’re free to simply be.

That being is enough.

It’s enough just to be loved
I don’t have to earn Your heart
Just be held, just be myself
I can rest in who You are ’cause
You’re not looking for perfection, and I
Already have Your affection and
It’s enough just to be loved
Just to be loved by You

To be Loved- Lydia Laird

Note for loved ones: I’m aware that this post might feel negative and give the impression that I’m consistently overwhelmed and stressed. I’m not. I’m loving life. I just find myself in these moments sometimes, and I know that I’m not alone in needing to be regularly reminded to stop, breathe, and be. God is so kind. I love that He lets us see our weaknesses, even often. Because it’s there that the call to abide gets louder.