I love my mum. I don’t know if any other mothers do this, but my mum has a particular love of staring intently at me (and each of us) for awkwardly long periods of time just smiling. At my questioning of, “Mum, why are you staring at me?” she’ll often respond, “I just love you!” Whether it’s throughout the day, at night, or in public places, I’ll regularly find myself caught very intensely in her gaze. Whilst trying not to squirm, quite often the line from Evan Almighty comes into my mind, “Do me a favour, love me less.”

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I was thinking this over this morning and had kind of a revelation. There’s no one who loves us more awkwardly, intensely or passionately than God. There’s no one who’s gaze is as relentlessly fixed as His. I’m literally caught in His gaze every single moment. There’s nothing that I can do to out squirm it or run away. He’s stuck over me. I’m His bullseye.
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And I realised that maybe the intensity of mum’s gaze is a direct image of God’s. It’s funny that it can feel so awkward. Shouldn’t being loved so intimately bring us freedom and joy? Why is it that being LOVED SO MUCH is so difficult?

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I need to process these questions. But the Evan Almightly quote has me stuck over it. It’s very revealing. Maybe in these moments, instead of trying to run from the extravagant and awkward love, I should respond with the same intensity. Man. That would be awkward. But I’m pretty sure that’s what God wants of us. That as He LAVISHES His love and affection upon us that we’d love right back on Him and just GET CAUGHT UP in His gaze. I love these moments with my Father. When The pursued does the pursuing, and I take time to really enjoy Him. Maybe it’s time that really manifested itself in all my relationships.

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So, I guess, next time you find yourself caught in an awkward, fixed gaze by someone who loves you deeply , instead of wishing you were loved less try directing your heart towards that person. Let moments get real and awkward, and in the intensity and vulnerability of those moments love like you’re loved. And even more importantly, try directing your heart towards God; you’re already stuck in His gaze.
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#preachingtomyself #getreadyforawkward