I’ve been doing some ancestry research recently and have been fascinated by a few things. One of them is the pattern of family. Lives and choices are repeated and the examples of the fathers and mothers are past down from generation to generation.

I have more history in some family lines than others, and some family lines are simply a list of names and dates. However, even in the family lines where names and dates is all I have (ie. I’m unsure of vocation, location, or generally what their lives looked like) there is one pattern that I can always see: the pattern of family. I can see where the narrative of adultery and unfaithfulness repeats itself again and again as husbands of the same line have 2 or 3 wives all within each other’s lifetimes. And I can see where couples have left a legacy to their children of integrity and faithfulness in lines that are consistent in nuclear family units.

It’s these families that caught my attention. I noticed through simple dates and patterns, that even in the 1700’s, couples were having various numbers of children. Some would have two or three, while others had seven or ten. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that contraception outside of natural family planning pretty much wasn’t a thing back then. And I was struck by the grace of God in it all.

We’re often taught that sex=babies as though it’s some kind of controllable chemical reaction. When, if we remember our biology, we know that X finding Y is a complete miracle (even the lab). Every child conceived is an intentional act of God.

It’s here I was struck as I was reminded that God never gives us more than we can handle outside of Him. God could give a couple 3 children, and they could complain that they don’t have enough time or money in their lives. God could give a couple 14 children, and they could complain that they can’t handle it. God could give a couple no children, and they could complain that God is unfair and that they’re desperate for children. But, when a couple receives the grace of God in their lives, they see it’s the kindness of God that bestows on them what they have, and that God desires to be their strength and leader in every moment of it all.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17 NKJV

I’m preaching to myself here, but I’m learning that God is a GOOD God. I’m learning that everything He gives us in life, gifts, opportunities, resources…, He longs for us to trust Him with. He longs that we’d invite Him into our stories as He has so kindly invited us into His and be a grateful, joyful, and servant-hearted people in all we find ourselves doing.

I’ve been struggling with joy recently. Tangent. But I’ve been repeatedly finding myself overwhelmed in a wave of disappointment, discouragement and sadness. Everytime it comes over me, I find that it’s a choice to break free. I’ve also learned that it’s okay to go through the motions. It’s okay to hurt and be sad. It’s okay to take a moment to not be okay. But, it’s also so important to not let those moments defeat us, and instead to use them to make us run to Him faster and faster.

My anthem right now is praying in each season, moment and even argument that I thank God because He’s using it for my good and His glory. If you take one thing away from this blog, try making that a daily prayer. It changes my heart and perspective every time. It makes me stop playing the victim and realise that God’s using what I’m going through to paint a more glorious picture than I can imagine. It helps me to search for the good in the other person or situation, and it always overwhelms my overwhelmed soul that He a gracious Father.

I want that to be the anthem and legacy of my life. I want to look back and see that I trusted Him and chose to enjoy every part of my life and every person in my life. I want to increasingly want what He wants and to grow a soul so rooted in His grace and kindness that I’m immovable in any weather. I want us to be a people who know and live like He is a good and gracious God.

He is so kind.

“But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”
Ephesians 2:4‭-‬7 NKJV

“Oh, give thanks to the Lord , for He is good! For His mercy endures forever.”
I Chronicles 16:34 NKJV

” The Lord is good to all, And His tender mercies are over all His works.”
Psalms 145:9 NKJV

“Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all generations.”
Psalms 100:4‭-‬5 NKJV